Why Do You Play Poker?

At first glance this is an easy question with an easy answer. To make money. That is the answer when you are fully rested, excited to got play, and ready for battle. The problem is that you are not always ready to play or what about after you have been playing for awhile.

I am not being honest with myself when I think about this question. Friday night I stayed home and played on the internet so I could go to bed early and be ready to play Saturday for a marathon session. I ended up staying up till midnight and then at 2 am my upstairs neighbor came home and woke me up. So after a lousy nights sleep I woke up at my normal time tired. I drank coffee and played on the internet to kill the morning and then headed up to play.

Before I got there I was tired. Then I noticed I played a hand badly early in the session just before I went card dead. I battled back to within 100 of even before slipping back down. Then I did it again before slipping into the abyss of being card dead, taking bad beats, and playing badly before I left 12+ hours later and 3 buyins lighter.

If I had been honest with myself before I left I would have said that I am going to play poker because this is what I was planning to do on one of the few days a week that I can play. Then after playing for a while I would have said that I am stuck and I have to get it back because this is one of the only days of the week I can play. Then when I bought my third rack I would have said that I haven't hit bottom yet and if I loose one my rack I can feel truly defeated and go home completly and underly depressed.

And that is what happened. I only asked myself this question once when I was ready to play instead of before I left and through out the night. And on top of it I was not honest with myself. I should have told myself that I can take a nap and go later. I don't need to play 12+ hour a day anyway. Then when I was card dead and almost even I should have said that the cards aren't with me tonight so I quit. And the third time, well, it was to late by then.

I say I play to make money but my actions say that I play because I have nothing else to do. If I want to make serious money at poker I have to start being honest with myself. I can take steps to be rested before I leave but what about during the session? I have to ask myself this question many times during the night and be honest with each answer.

I figure that if I was honest I would have lost 300 dollars over the last two weekends instead of many times that amount. I will correct this NOW.